Headless Horse

Memories of waking up in a sea of wrapping paper, indulging in the material joys of childhood, are all in the past now. As an adult you are no longer drunk on the strawberry scented plastic of your youth. You are now stuck in that frozen half smile of "is this gift a punishment for something I did?" for the holidays. At the end of it all you are broke, exhausted and you truly like about 1% of all the gifts you have received. What do you do with all of the extras? I happen to live by a landfill (which explains why my fish have lived so long) and my desperate attempt to avoid becoming "the junk lady" has lured me to the gate of that seagull-circled castle of waste on more than one occasion .
I may die a cat lady or alone eaten by dogs a la Bridget Jones, but I will never be the "the junk lady". You know, the kind of person who buys gifts and stows them away in a room which is impossible to walk through and that looks like a massive land feature from far away. Up close you see that the mysterious crag is actually a collection of millions of useless things like novelty alcohol sets that come with a bottle of whatever and two cups labeled with the brand, turning you into a walking, talking, sample-giving advertisement. But I digress...at great length.

As an adult, gift giving is for the kids. We can vicariously watch them get the things our apparently non clairvoyant caretakers did not get for us. My dreams were shattered as my two year old cousin ripped opened fake food and cabbage patch dolls. I guess it's better that no one bought her the mechanical mare that I had been both entranced and horrified by. Here is what the wonderful patrons of Amazon.com said about the plaything:

Or you can view the Assembly Video

" What a great product?, December 3, 2006

Reviewer:

J. Downing (Columbus, OH USA) - See all my reviews

"You may wish to not open the box around your children if they may be frightened by a box with a decapitated horse inside."

Isn't that all you need to know? I wish more products carried this disclaimer. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. "


and

" Great fun for my grandson- and Me!, December 25, 2006

Reviewer:

J. A. Stump "karma mama" (Ellicott City, MD USA) - See all my reviews

We got the pony for our little grandson- although it is marketed for girls, he saw one at a store and fell in love with it early in the fall. I was able to get one for the retail price, thankfully; and my husband and I put it together with no problems, once we laughed at the obvious "Godfather" deja-vu of the horse's head detached in the box!
I have had a BLAST with this "animal"; the only complaint I have is that it does not walk and cannot follow me around the house! When Noah first saw it, he just clapped and squealed, he was so happy! This has been worth evey penny already."


Ahh, crappy reviews and spelling mistakes aside, I guess the Butterscotch Pony horrors are not just figments of my overactive and morbid imagination. There definitely IS something very wrong with life sized robots posing as animal friends.