Saturday, January 19, 2008

Scuse me while I kiss this guy

Pop songs, the mindless drivel that gets stuck in your brain like a wad of gum in a third grader's hair, are not only annoyingly addictive and usually empty (like a bag of Lays) but they are often misunderstood. Misunderstandings happen in life, but when they happen at such an alarming volume and with so much airplay, you have to wonder if some kind of subliminal work is going on here.

For example, the senior class of a nearby high school chose the song "Lips of An Angel" as their graduation song. Please, sample the lyrics:

Lips Of An Angel lyrics

Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

Good job, class. A song about a crazy ho who doesn't know when she's been dumped and an idiot guy who can't keep it in his pants. Sweet! I can't wait until the future is run by this generation.

Another song that has a poppy, addicting beat and a very well-placed half poetic line in it is Uncle Kracker's "Follow Me". I have heard people say, "I like this song. It's sweet". Yes, the chorus sounds pretty sweet. Yay. Everything is alright if I stay with you. Sure, tuck me in like a child. Weird, but I'll take it. Now, read the whole song please.


You don't know how you met me you don't know why
You cant turn around and say goodbye
All you know is when I'm with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea

I'm singin' follow me everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
you wont find nobody else like me

I'm not worried about the ring you wear
Cause as long as no one knows then nobody can care
Your feeling guilty and I'm well aware
But you don't look ashamed and baby I'm not scared

I'm singin' follow me everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

I won't give you money I can't give you the sky
Your better off if you don't ask why
I'm not the reason that you go astray
And we'll be alright if you don't ask me to stay

I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

Don't know how you met me you don't know why
You can't turn around and say goodbye
All you know is when I'm with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea

I'm singin' follow me everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

I'm singin' follow me everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

I'm singin' follow me everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me


Oh. Adultery. OK, so you are in love with another man. Oh, wait what was that line? "We'll be alright if you don't ask me to stay?" Oh, so a romantic song about my side fuck. Keep singing it America. It was top of the charts and still plays continuously throughout the country. Yay, infidelity.



I'm taking a log. Let me know your favorite massively misunderstood song....all five of you that actually read this blog. Maybe I should start praising you. How would you like a nickname? My Disciples? People Enjoying Evil Rantings (PEER for short)? Or how about "The People That Google Brought Through the Art of Tagging"? Eh, you decide. I know it'll be difficult, you know, with that overwhelming number. Do it democratic style and vote or have one person represent all of you without actually asking you or giving you any real choices, just like real democracy!

5 comments:

Hansel Castro said...

We all noticed those things about those songs- they're asshole songs by asshole guys about slutty dumb girls- but what you're missing is that, hmmm, the world is full of asshole guys and slutty dumb girls and they relate to that shit. They understand what the song is about. They like it. Yes, it's terrible, Ann, it bothers me too, but let them do what they will, and all we can hope for is that WE are good enough not to add to the number of asshole guys and slutty dumb girls.

Anonymous said...

It's not about the lyrics. Most people do not listen to the lyrics--all they hear is a catchy beat. But if these types of songs bother you so then you have a couple options.

1) Become a record exec/dj and just don't put this out there.

2) Get a car with a CD player and listen to your own brand of hate rock (or whatever you listen to) and go to town.

And for song that fits your needs, I would have to say my favorite is, "Barbie Girl" by Aqua.

Between being able to undress her anywhere and bending her on her plastic knees...I think we all know she's a hooker, yet little girl cheer leading squads use that song (not to mention Gigalo) all the time.

For more like this goto http://www.amiright.com/real/dirtyartist/.

Anonymous said...

It's not about the lyrics. Most people do not listen to the lyrics--all they hear is a catchy beat. But if these types of songs bother you so then you have a couple options.

1) Become a record exec/dj and just don't put this out there.

2) Get a car with a CD player and listen to your own brand of hate rock (or whatever you listen to) and go to town.

And for song that fits your needs, I would have to say my favorite is, "Barbie Girl" by Aqua.

Between being able to undress her anywhere and bending her on her plastic knees...I think we all know she's a hooker, yet little girl cheer leading squads use that song (not to mention Gigalo) all the time.

For more like this goto http://www.amiright.com/real/dirtyartist/.

Educator said...

Ha! that site gave some very opbvious ones. I meet "Oops, there goes my shirt.." and the girl is stripping to herself in a mirror. Who thought that was a clean song?! WTF?

Unknown said...

One of my favorite stand up comedian is George Carlin.
He said "we need more well informed and well educated people, capable of critical thinking"

This is a website i found, but I warn you, it's disturbing:

"Some if not most pop songs and sexy videos contain predetermined messages aimed to the world's youth. She (Rihanna) is part of the mass media system who basically raises and educates todays's children. It plants in the minds of young people the values required to become the type of citizen they want you to be: morally weak, highly suggestible and devoid of critical thinking. MTV, teen movies and all those other crappy media outlets are preparing future generations to become idiots, a little like Rihanna in her video. Are you in Disturbia?"

http://vigilantcitizen.com/?p=551